Some poetry this week, a series of limericks about the current top ten songs on the Billboard Hot 100. Why? Who knows…
1. Whistle by Flo Rida
As subtle as sci-fi Jane Fonda,
Flo’s song has still proved a golconda.
And although it’s not earned,
It’s still nice that he’s learned
The art of the single entendre.
2. Lights by Ellie Goulding
A song without deafening drumming,
But that still leaves the listener humming?
Oh, never before
Has this yank been more
Glad to say, “the British are coming!”
3. Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
It’s had more than its share of success,
And yet stays in the charts nonetheless.
But you’ll find nothing’s there
But a wisp of hot air,
It seems we’re not hard to impress.
4. Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Though once she had hits in her hat,
These days it just tends to fall flat.
You could bear the buffoon
With a hummable tune,
Now she doesn’t even have that.
5. Payphone by Maroon 5 ft. Wiz Khalifa
Now, “Payphone,” inept as it is,
Has more whining than all of Les Mis,
And it all goes to pot
When we reach the guest spot,
An incongruous rap verse from Wiz.
6. Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye ft. Kimbra
In springtime it won all our hearts
With its mix of emotion and smarts.
It got played too much,
But it’s still great, as such
I’m happy it stays in the charts
7. Titanium by David Guetta ft. Sia
With music so thoroughly canned,
No surprise that it’s by Guetta’s hand.
But I’ll say this for it:
It’s been months since a hit
Has been quite so terribly bland.
8. Some Nights by fun.
Some thought fun.’s first hit was a gem,
But it was less flower than stem.
“Some Nights” is well-sung,
But unlike “We Are Young,”
This one sounds much more like them.
9. Home by Phillip Phillips
Now it’s been used as a theme
For the U.S.A. gymnastics team.
So the song’s won the day,
But the huge overplay
May dash Phillips’ Olympic dream.
10. Where Have You Been by Rihanna
Though in the past she’s been admired,
This hit leaves much to be desired.
Thing is, it’s no fun,
And you ask what they’ve done
To make her sound so uninspired.